Corn is the ultimate vegetable...
The king of all vegetables, if you will.
Who doesn't like corn?
Any vegetable that they make a candy out of--has got to be good...
And frankly, CANDY CORN rules...
Can you imagine eating
CANDY CAULIFLOWER
or CANDY BROCCOLI, for that matter?
Corn
is totally versatile...It has it's own syrup...
Corn syrup is like the
blood of God...
Radish syrup?
Nope.
Asparagus syrup?
Nope.
Even tomato syrup sounds lame...
And tomatoes are cool...
But they're a bunch of whining pussies,
too...
But not corn...
NO way...
Corn is impervious to destruction...
If ever there was a KICK BUTT vegetable--It's CORN.
Corn is the top dog shot caller in the prison yard...
(if corn went
to prison)...
Carrots may be
a little stubborn...
Artichokes can give you a hard time...
But pretty much everything else wilts under the heat...
How
else can you explain it when corn sits in the toilet TOTALLY WHOLE?!!!
I
shuck it, cook it, stab it, chew it, and then digest it with stomach acid...
A
day later I stand from the toilet and there it is...
Just sitting there...Floating...Staring
at me...
GIVING ME THE FINGER.
Corn es muy LOCO.
You gotta admire that.
Here's
another example of corn's take no prisoners resilience.
Ever
finish a bowl of corn flakes and let it sit in the sink for a few hours?
BIG
MISTAKE...
When those golden flakes of goodness get soggy and then dry...
They turn into little kevlar scabs...You could make ballistic vests with this stuff!
Let's take a look at how many ways corn can
be ingested:
CORN ON THE COB, CREAMED
CORN, CORN TORTILLAS,
CORN BREAD, CORN CHIPS, CORN
FLAKES, POP CORN...
CORN DOGS!
Corn
is entertainment...
I mean, really, besides a boost to your self-esteem...
What fun is it to get lost in a lettuce maze?
And it is well documented that serial killers, satanic cults, chainsaw-wielding maniac's, cheerleaders
and groups of disgruntled teenagers prefer cornfields two to one...
What
vegetable has as much utility as corn?
Corn starch?
Corn oil?...
Heck, we could run our cars on this stuff
and END the war in the Middle East...
Corn cobb pipes?...
I am not down with smoking, but if I was...
